Wednesday, December 21, 2011

On the first day of Christmas my mailman gave to me

A Lis Pendens letting me know we had to evacuate in 90 days due to the owners pending foreclosure. I was shocked but I did laugh because after the week I had it was par for the course. First my laptop was plunged to the ground to its demise. Next I received a rather unhappy grade in a class that was important to me. But I have to thank those two extremely unfortunate events because they forced me to stop and reevaluate my current situation. Isn't that what December is for anyway? We get to count all our screw ups of the current calendar year and plan not to do them again. So here's what I came up with.

I quit my second job so I would have more time to clean. No, seriously if you know my housekeeping skills you can stop laughing now. I wanted more family time. I also had a hard time taking women seriously who think they just must have the hoodie for the fashion show and would travel all around central Florida to get it when our country has "eyes bigger than its stomach" and there are starving kids in...Lakeland.

Next, I decided to quit school. I know this may be confusing to some of you, but I've finished my teaching classes. I've been taking art classes because ever since i was a kid i knew i was meant to do something different. I want desperately to be an art teacher. Ive had visions of myself in overalls on the floor surrounded by kids with paint all over my hands. But for now i will focus in getting certified and getting a job.
That choice was the hardest. It's difficult to trust that the logical thing to do is the right thing even though all the arrows may point in that direction.

Of course these are regular daily decisions for a Mom. They are the type that many make every day. So why did I want pomp and circumstance? I think it's because we moms think that sometimes our lives should be played out in front of a studio audience for both applause and the ability to poll the audience "Who wants to be a millionaire?" style.

The truth is the sacrifices people make every day are bound to go unnoticed. Thats not why we do them. We make sacrifices to better the quality of life for the whole family- for the greater good. Sure, if I could go back to have a heart to heart with my 21 year old self, I would convince me to major in Art or Art History and travel abroad, but don't know if I'd listen, even to me. We go on knowing that we have made mistakes and would change some things if we had to, but we trust in God and know that He doesn't make mistakes. Maybe that means our dreams will be realized later on or maybe not at all. One thing is for sure, though. A VS fashion show hoodie won't make a lick of difference in anyone's history but the choices you make to put those you love first certainly will. And who knows? I may be sporting my paint covered overalls in the Fall anyway!